Have you ever broken totally from your inside? Have you ever felt the shattered pieces of your dreams stabbing your soul? Have you ever encountered such trouble where you feel deep disgust and nauseating up to your core such intensely that it almost makes you vomit? When your self esteem and pungent reality are in constant vendetta and the verdict seems impossible. When the mirror laugh at your face and you cry with such a shrill that it rips your flesh out of your bones but fails to touch the eardrum of others. Where your bad luck hit you hard and not just once but continuously and almost every time when you muster some courage and achieved little balance and succeed in pulling yourself back from the last whirlpool of your sick fate. Where there is no one to put blame for. When every single responsibility is on your shoulder and the burden is so intense that it pushes you into the earth. When you feel like your life is worth dying for. Where there is no one to take support from and, you simply don’t have the option to share it. Where the fact being, you known that this fight is yours and you have to handle it by your own. Where you are the only soldier in the battle against your ill fate. Have you ever been in this situation? Have you ever felt your heart thumping so furiously that all other senses become numb and thoughts get vaporized? When every passing moment bringing your soul closer to morbid stand-still. When this misfortune of yours take such a mammoth shape that your inner being get terrified and you wrap yourself with a threadbare cloth and tremblingly sits in a corner of your dark room. When you become so maladjusted that no longer you are certain that the darkness is caused by your inner sickness or the room is just not lit.
Sitting there for a long time and mulling about how to get out of this burden. How to break the shackle of your fate which traps you totally. Sitting there for a long time like a carcass who has been strike by his ill-fate. Sitting there the only physical thing which you can feel is the hot air you are inhaling and exhaling from your nostril. Sitting down you start to focus how your chest get expanded and contracted by the inflow and outflow of your breath. And then suddenly its strike you, this realization that you are still breathing, that you are still alive. That live is all about living it and since you are alive you still have the chance to live your life, and you can’t let this opportunity go, since “life is beautiful”. That you have a chance to change your ill-fate and turn it into good fortune. And suddenly for the first time at this point you realize that this fear is not you rather a transformation in yourself which continuously makes you realize that you are the architect of your fate and the choice is yours to make it or break it. You close your eyes and you can feel your inner self, whisper in your ears that “you are breathing, you are alive”. And just then, suddenly and swiftly, you realize the loosing grip against your skeleton. That the breadth you take fills your chest with courage and give you that extra push, that there is aroma of freedom in the air. And for the first time you feel relieved. For the first time you don’t feel the heaviness of your sick fate but the lightness of your courage and knowledge. For the first time you feel vindicated. For the first time you feel victorious and you murmur to yourself with a complacent smile….“life is beautiful”.
Posts
