All I ever wanted... Posted by Rajdip Biswas ,Wednesday, October 14, 2009 at 11:38 AM,

‘All I ever wanted’....a tricky topic isn’t? Well let me put it very clearly that I am not going to preach some psychological fact or old good adage. So what am I trying to preach....oops, say!!!

Well you all people must have, many times dumbfound by déjà vu. Spellbound by confusion in your mind, trying to not believe first what you are looking to. Then-after few seconds maybe- you say to yourself-What’s wrong with you pal, why you are trying to convincing yourself, it’s just a déjà vu. Frankly speaking when I first thud by this déjà vu, it was awe, as I happened to be a child, who never ever heard of this word. Back then it was hard for me to digest. All those enigmatic perfectly timed action which I could predict with 100 percent accuracy. You can easily fathom that all this sudden enlightenment for a child of seven was really a strong surge in his quest to understand this complex world. Back then sometime I even thought that might be I am gifted with some divine angelic power. I never divulge this secret to anyone since I heard the word déjà vu......Well I must say it was a spiritual breakdown for me...all my divine power gets expunged. All my hope breaks into smithereens. From that day onward there was no more welcome for déjà vu from my side, although it’s not me who can control its advent. But now there was no charm no temptation, nothing. Till yesterday I was like....déjà vu..D’oh same old prat. Until today- I must say, I get haunted by this beast. Using the word haunted not because I am horrified by this beast but because I get horrified by the fact which it shows to me. A fact which i regularly watch but never admit to be true. This beast just change my prospective and make me look at it in a helicopter view. So what it showed to me??

You know back then in college, living in a kind of ramshackle hostel, rooms were so small that could make u feel claustrophobic, disturbance in the air. No delineation between your room and the entire hostel, anyone barging into your private space, anytime. I always dreamed about hostel room where all this things taken into consideration, as I always need my private space. Although I never intended to change the air of hostel (in fact I loved that) only the delineation between private and public, and little cosier room....Well it all came back to me. All my demands, wishes, all I ever wanted. How I get to know about it?? Off course my déjà vu. The sad part is, all my wishes about private space are taken care of, but along with it snatches my public domain. I miss it so badly. And moreover these wishes were for the private space@college. Why it’s happening with me now. I guess it’s the place where my beast@déjà vu comes into picture.

Few months back somebody told me about the mysterious thing about “power of attraction”. It was bizarre to explain what he told me without an example. In fact in never believed it till now. But now I guess I am having a reason to believe and one example with me to let you explain. He told me that the universe works on a mysterious power. That all yours conscious and subconscious wishes are taken care by some enigmatic power and you get what you ever wanted in your life. As if there is some cobweb of this power which gifted you back what you ever desired. As if we are living in a mysterious matrix of ‘attraction’.

Well now I can see what he meant, alas, in a very despondent was....in this cosier but aloof location of my present deputation. But this is not what I wanted for now, this is what I desired during my college days regarding my private pace.....Well as some people says, life is one big collection of different experience, so I will try to learn from it, and from next time try to wish something when I can prognosticate about my future desires.