The day I wake from serenity Posted by Rajdip Biswas ,Wednesday, December 23, 2009 at 3:49 AM,

You like dew fallen on woods, like the dawn after a long peach dark night, like a fresh breath of air, like the cacophony of birds while spring hits the corner, like the aroma of soil wafting across after the first rain. Yes it’s you baby. Smell like honey, fairer then milk, lips softer then rose pallets, eyes luminous enough to hold my breath...Nectar of youth. Yes it’s you....an epitome of soft and tender love.
I am afraid but till now I never dreamed about you. I beg my pardon but till now I never fall for you. Oh baby don’t you ever think that you mean nothing to me. God knows how much I admire you, love you, and cherish you. I care for you sweetheart. The desire of having you is so strong so profound, I always afraid that just dreaming about you can make me mad. It would be like a wildfire. I knew it’s palpable, I knew that just dreaming about you can crave me, corrode me. I was just trying to control that temptation. You know baby that I can’t hold myself back from embrace you, love you, kiss you, play with you, watching you smiling and lost myself into it....While you gazing at me with sweet juvenile but enigmatic eyes, forcing me to think that even the deepest secret is known to you, while my heart starts thumping hard, your sudden breathtaking smile make me feel like moron. Oh what a moment that would be......Yes you are the reflection of my love, the key of all my secrets.
The day I wake from this beautiful serenity, the day your arrival was sealed and conformed by my alter ego, I was in awe. A calm breeze holding the conformation of your arrival waft across my ears, enter through it and what’s radiated out was fatherhood. It unleashes all my soft and tender feelings for you. Sardonically one half of mine was quivering hard, convincing myself.......“So what if you have taken a different path to reach up to me, the destination is predefined, yes its predefined baby that you are mine. It doesn’t matter from where your genesis coming from, what matters is where future will take you to. I am confident enough that future is holding me too into his frame of time with you”. Other half of mine was smiling in complacent manner as if I was waiting for this moment, holding few droplets in my eyes and few passing my chicks, my smiling lips and dangling on my chin. As if just now I got another reason, another reason to live, another reason to die for.
From that day till now, I am waiting for you baby. So what if our rendezvous has postponed by few months, so what if there are few hurdles in our path, so what if I need to put a little halt in my unquenchable desire to hold you. You are my little angel baby and no one can hold us back from this tryst. The day is near, we will meet baby. The serendipity is coming. Oh please come soon I am waiting for you.

A Voyage as a “Sarkari Babu” Posted by Rajdip Biswas ,Friday, October 16, 2009 at 4:33 AM,

Few days back I encountered an article which surely comes as bliss for all ‘Sarkari Babus’....what was that article....well in this turmoil of recession it’s not hard to guess, but if u people still can’t fathom my hint I am talking about pay revision and stable performance of top notch Indian PSU’s. May be this is one profound reason why after this PSU groom became hit in every national matrimonial till now. Top PSU’s became successful to portrait an impeccable image of theirs that no one can deny. The shimmering peak of iceberg floating like a mammoth in Indian market even at the time of recession catches appreciation. Being a naive in marketing and finance I can’t fathom how PSU could hold their grip at today’s vacillating and volatile market....because from my point of view, being a PSU executive and working for 14 month now, I see some different picture which is not at all pleasant. May be working at core sector along with good debt:equity ratio make these PSU’s sail their boat this time over economic breakdown but if they don’t bring innovation in their entire process, change the mindset of their employee and importantly implement all their policies from the grass root level then there is no doubt that tomorrow they will become history as Global Motors. Here people are so much lost in flattering their boss to climb those stairs of hierarchy that they forget their basic duty. Mismanagement of Human Intellect along with no appreciation of talent from core is one more reason of concern. And all this gets magnified when people at the top of hierarchy become so much stubborn that they don’t even want to hear the word ‘CHANGE’. Globalization and competition are no threat for them, they seems complaisant in their nest and works with the same old pace. Although PSU’s are bringing change in their policies but it’s too slow in adopting and there’s always a threat that before ripening the fruit of change these companies can wipe out from their very existence. Well I just hope for the best as no one can deny this fact that these PSU’s prove themselves in past and played an important role in our countries growth. I just wish them to continue their voyage and move parallel with the growth of our country.

All I ever wanted... Posted by Rajdip Biswas ,Wednesday, October 14, 2009 at 11:38 AM,

‘All I ever wanted’....a tricky topic isn’t? Well let me put it very clearly that I am not going to preach some psychological fact or old good adage. So what am I trying to preach....oops, say!!!

Well you all people must have, many times dumbfound by déjà vu. Spellbound by confusion in your mind, trying to not believe first what you are looking to. Then-after few seconds maybe- you say to yourself-What’s wrong with you pal, why you are trying to convincing yourself, it’s just a déjà vu. Frankly speaking when I first thud by this déjà vu, it was awe, as I happened to be a child, who never ever heard of this word. Back then it was hard for me to digest. All those enigmatic perfectly timed action which I could predict with 100 percent accuracy. You can easily fathom that all this sudden enlightenment for a child of seven was really a strong surge in his quest to understand this complex world. Back then sometime I even thought that might be I am gifted with some divine angelic power. I never divulge this secret to anyone since I heard the word déjà vu......Well I must say it was a spiritual breakdown for me...all my divine power gets expunged. All my hope breaks into smithereens. From that day onward there was no more welcome for déjà vu from my side, although it’s not me who can control its advent. But now there was no charm no temptation, nothing. Till yesterday I was like....déjà vu..D’oh same old prat. Until today- I must say, I get haunted by this beast. Using the word haunted not because I am horrified by this beast but because I get horrified by the fact which it shows to me. A fact which i regularly watch but never admit to be true. This beast just change my prospective and make me look at it in a helicopter view. So what it showed to me??

You know back then in college, living in a kind of ramshackle hostel, rooms were so small that could make u feel claustrophobic, disturbance in the air. No delineation between your room and the entire hostel, anyone barging into your private space, anytime. I always dreamed about hostel room where all this things taken into consideration, as I always need my private space. Although I never intended to change the air of hostel (in fact I loved that) only the delineation between private and public, and little cosier room....Well it all came back to me. All my demands, wishes, all I ever wanted. How I get to know about it?? Off course my déjà vu. The sad part is, all my wishes about private space are taken care of, but along with it snatches my public domain. I miss it so badly. And moreover these wishes were for the private space@college. Why it’s happening with me now. I guess it’s the place where my beast@déjà vu comes into picture.

Few months back somebody told me about the mysterious thing about “power of attraction”. It was bizarre to explain what he told me without an example. In fact in never believed it till now. But now I guess I am having a reason to believe and one example with me to let you explain. He told me that the universe works on a mysterious power. That all yours conscious and subconscious wishes are taken care by some enigmatic power and you get what you ever wanted in your life. As if there is some cobweb of this power which gifted you back what you ever desired. As if we are living in a mysterious matrix of ‘attraction’.

Well now I can see what he meant, alas, in a very despondent was....in this cosier but aloof location of my present deputation. But this is not what I wanted for now, this is what I desired during my college days regarding my private pace.....Well as some people says, life is one big collection of different experience, so I will try to learn from it, and from next time try to wish something when I can prognosticate about my future desires.

Paradox Posted by Rajdip Biswas ,Thursday, August 20, 2009 at 8:38 AM,

It would have been half hour past three. I was landed in my cosy chair, satiating myself with a mug of coffee, pondering outside from window. For a creature from our urban kaleidoscopic society it would no less than a jaunt in the womb of Himalaya with such a quality living....but i guess there’s exception everywhere....I am jaded and surfeit with it. Loath with holding my sight on those gigantic mountains i looked on the road, from my window, which gives me a panoramic view of this small town, Munsyari. Noticing every little nuance made by peoples moving on it. This point of time as the cities hoi polloi are indulging themselves in the warmth of their family and blanket, only thing moving through these road are bevy of cattle’s and children coming back from school. Looking at them, i just lost myself in time. I guess it’s normal for everyone who had dote on their school time. Everyone in the uniform, it’s such a resplendent. Noticing every minute manoeuvre, specially done by those, who have just started this beautiful and splended odyssey. It’s exciting to noticing the gait of these little children, who are struggling enough to walk properly with their little body, big head (as compared to their body) and massive school bags. What binds me more is their juvenile benevolent nature, their hugging and cuddling, their innocent smile their jostling through the crowed, their boldness, their intrepidly pulling a dog’s tail or a ponytail. For them nothing is impossible. They are rather enjoying every moment with the flavour of their sublime naughty merriment. These little innocuous children unconsciously drawing a line between how they perceive this world is and how we as an adult take it. Everyone can notice this vividly, as i am witnessing, between these iridescent infant and their irksome seniors. This so called senior, seems lost in turmoil, their innocence is no more with them, their mind tarnished....sly, cunning and hostile feeling permeated deep into their heart. They live in a bleak atmosphere, breathing turmoil and splitting out poison with their words.
Not far from this flock of ignorance and innocent I found a prey (a weak link...surely innocuous) trapped between predators (a sly group), paying no heed no respect...Nothing. Spreading a foul in the ambiance. A foul so pungent that the aroma of Himalayan gust can’t penetrate it. A foul so deeply rooted in their heart, that the tears from the prey’s eyes, was not enough to awash it...not even close to bring mercy. I was wondering that their heart pumps blood or crude filled with sarcasm, animus, prejudice and dogma.
Surprisingly this is not new to our society. Everyone is playing this ‘predator and prey’ game, in some way or other. Maybe that’s what adulthood mean. Sardonically those who become good predator automatically get in the elite group of people who have the contrast of ‘nirvana of adulthood’. We all talk about religion, perfect way of living or art of living or humanitarian action or whatever, but deep inside we all know what adulthood in nutshell means. Paradoxical, isn’t???????

Lacerated Saccharine... Posted by Rajdip Biswas ,Sunday, August 16, 2009 at 8:05 PM,

Holding a null gaze, i was glued to my study chair. I guess i was contemplating about something. This feeling is no new to me. I hold this outlandish pain at the core of my heart from an archaic period. Year after year i felt this lacerated saccharine. I could hardly remember any day being shunned from it and now i guess i am addicted to it. Every now and then i lost my helm and indulge myself in this imbibe. I am pretty sure that this sweet venom is contributing a lot in my blood and whenever my consciousness wakeup form slumber (generally few times a day), it rushes directly to my brain and give me a state of serenity. Droplets rolled through my cheeks and dangle to my chin as a pendant think of whether it embellishes or glooming that moment. A catharsis followed by nostalgia elevates me from my present state, and then it starts.....I delve in the abyss of my past, lament on it mull about those wrong step i have taken. Little did i realise that i can’t change my past....no one can. Still this feeling revive itself as a moment of realisation for me and makes me paralysed. Today it’s a part of my identity, a part of who i am and what i loss in my life. Now i neither lament nor exclaimed of its presence but try to live with it in symbiosis, as this sweet pain is the only thing i left with after she.....

Highway or Roller coaster.!!!! Posted by Rajdip Biswas ,Friday, July 3, 2009 at 2:16 PM,

Some says life is a roller coaster ride, some say it’s a highway, Robert forest also says “Two paths diverge”. Well one thing is concrete that we all came alone and will go by same. Every Tom Dick Harry will traverse his path alone. Isn’t it mean that we all naked, living our life on mere plethora of choices!!!!Well i don’t know, but this aberrant thought brings one valid question in my mind. What’s the biggest fear for anyone??? Isn’t its being left alone in this world? May be that’s why a child is first foster by his parents, then come friends and after that in the aegis of his life partner, somehow to allay his worst nightmare. Sardonically “life partner” itself is an abstruse term. It’s palpable and logical, in literal meaning off course, that a life partner is the amulet for adding the link of your pedigree, alas, it don’t mitigate your fear of being alone in the highway. What if after all this, terror intrude into your mind and permeate it with all this harsh fact. What if you waken from this nightmare, terrified off course, and discovers that you are alone with no identity, no one knows you. Your family, parents, peers all just vanishes like they never existed, like this is the first time you opened your eyes after coming out of womb, like you are lost in this abysmal turmoil. What probable could be the expression? Would it be catharsis or wail? Would it be shock or shrill? I don’t know, the fact is i can’t even prognosticate. Can you....???